Rollo

That's it, I've finally given in and got a new computer for work. 

The computer's name is Rollo.

I felt I should possibly offer some form of explanation of our computer naming practices on here at some point, given there have already been a few unexplained references to Arnulf which, upon rereading, could be mistaken for a cat. We can't have people thinking I would condone the presence of a cat in the house. (Apologies to any cat-lovers who may be reading, but I cannot STAND the things and they make me want to tear my eyes out. Just so you know).

It all started with Aethelred. Aethelred was my first computer. The first time I switched it on, it asked me to give it a name. Windows suggested something like "main computer" or "study". How many other computers out there must be called "main computer"? I wanted my computer to be the only one with that name when they called the register at compuer-school, to give it a proper sense of identity. Having a list of kings and queens of England attached to my bedroom wall (as you do), I picked one from there, and so Aethelred was baptised. Not with water, you understand. Noooo.

And lo, the time came for Aethelred to be deposed, as lo, I was moving to France, and lo, he was too heavy, and lo, the family computer had a nervous breakdown and needed replacing. So Aethelred, he did go and become the family computer, and it was good. (Please note, lo is not "lol" with an l missing. Non.)

As everybody knows (erm...everybody? Hello? Back me up here!) Aethelred was deposed by Cnut, AKA Canute. The naming of the new computer was therefore easy. Cnut kept some of Aethelred's accessories, just as the historical Cnut kept Aethelred's wife, Emma. Jawöhl.

Cnut gave up on me last year, some way into fighting the Normans, NOT like the real Cnut, but sort of like Harold, who came a bit later, so it still almost works. Cnut was replaced by Arnulf de Montgommery, a tiny netbook which needed a big name to make up for its diminutive stature. Arnulf de Montgommery was one of the Normans Cnut and I had been attempting to transform into a Masters' thesis. He wasn't a bad sort of Norman, but he doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry, so I thought he needed some sort of recognition.

Rollo is a proper desktop and marks the start of a new phase in life, one that involves ACTUALLY WORKING and GETTING PAID (and possibly getting married as well, maybe). Sort of like the moment when the French gave Normandy to the Vikings to stop them pillaging and the Duchy of Normandy was created. (Wait...what?) 

The first Duke of Normandy was called Rollo, anyway, or Rollon in French, but as my computer is not a deodorant we've gone for the English spelling.

Internets, meet Rollo. Rollo, meet internets.

-Here endeth the history lesson-.

Boudin

Yesterday, I went to the hairdressers in an attempt to sort out wedding hair.


This is a Big Deal. I do not like hairdressers. For some reason, "just sort my hair out, please" never seems to be a specific enough instruction, and I- who have few fixed ideas about my hair, just not a short fringe, please, I put up with that for quite long enough- end up having to describe in detail what I want doing.


Wedding hair being One Of Those Things That Needs Sorting Out, I went on a mission to find a hairdresser in Lyon yesterday (with Ze Boy's sister for moral support). The first place we visited didn't have time on the date in question, so that was out. The second was very overpriced and the name was slightly odd- Saint Algue (Holy Seaweed? Holy Algae? Saint Seaweed? Strange, however you translate it). In the third, the woman was very rude to us, and accused us of wasting her time because we refused to book an appointment to discuss the possibility of booking an appointment for a test for the real wedding-hair thingy. Yes, it was THAT complicated. And she was THAT rude. I quote: "mais là, je perds mon temps pour rien, vous m'avez vraiment dérangé, et vous ne prennez même pas de rendez-vous, enfin, c'est pas possible, quoi..."


One word: POUFIASSE. (There is no satisfactory English word in this case. Sorry).


The fourth place was fine. I went in, made an appointment for a test-chignon the same afternoon. I came out with hair crunchier than deep-fried seaweed (look! More seaweed! Maybe if I save it we can make sushi?), but it was ok. The hair is now sorted.


To make my hair do what she wanted, the hairdresser put a boudin in it.


Let's see what GoogleTranslate makes of that, shall we?


la coiffeuse a mise un boudin dans mes cheveux   gives:    


(wait for it...)


The vanity put a sausage in my hair.


It seems my job is safe for now.